The glorious return of Ariel the Chameleon—master of reinvention, patron saint of amnesia, and now apparently Coral Gables' answer to Gandhi. One moment he’s torching bridges like he’s auditioning for a Michael Bay film, the next he’s building unity coalitions with the sincerity of a used car salesman who’s just discovered LinkedIn buzzwords.
His pivot from obstructionist-in-chief to kumbaya crusader is so abrupt, I’m genuinely concerned he may have suffered whiplash. The man who once treated consensus like a communicable disease is now hand-delivering it like a bouquet of peonies. Touching.
But let’s not be too hard on him—after all, it takes real talent to backpedal this hard without pulling a hamstring. And who among us hasn’t spent two years undermining policies only to claim ownership of them the second the political winds changed direction? Classic leadership move.
And Castro? Well, if Ariel is the political shapeshifter, she’s the drama department’s valedictorian—equal parts soap opera and TED Talk, sprinkled with just enough faux vulnerability to keep her #Brand alive. Bonus points for the child-as-prop routine; nothing says “courage” like weaponizing your own family for likes.
Anyway, bravo to Aesop for chronicling this high-calorie buffet of hypocrisy with the precision of a surgeon and the flair of a Shakespearean insult comic. I look forward to watching Ariel and Castro continue their tenure as the Gables' answer to Laurel and Hardy—if Laurel spent his time subtweeting constituents and Hardy posted teary Instagram monologues between ethics complaints.
I’m considering opening a popcorn stand right outside of city hall. The show that turkey tits is about to produce, direct, and star in is going to be epic. I can see it now. Just like the courtroom scene in Liar Liar, with a drizzle of Hialeah. Co-starring Melissa Castro and special appearances by Maria Cruz. Netflix needs to jump on this ASAP! This new top 10 series will be packed with action, drama, and comedy.
Ariel Fernandez reminds me of Coca Cola in 1985. After a long time using the Coca Cola formula, they decided to abandon it. Then Coca Cola, using a new formula, introduced a new Coca Cola, and they called it New Coke. Then new Coke failed with consumers. Then Coca Cola introduced Coke Classic, with was the new new Coke, but in reality it was the old Coke.
Are you a bit confused with this Coca Cola story ? So am I regarding Ariel Fernandez in Coral Gables.
The glorious return of Ariel the Chameleon—master of reinvention, patron saint of amnesia, and now apparently Coral Gables' answer to Gandhi. One moment he’s torching bridges like he’s auditioning for a Michael Bay film, the next he’s building unity coalitions with the sincerity of a used car salesman who’s just discovered LinkedIn buzzwords.
His pivot from obstructionist-in-chief to kumbaya crusader is so abrupt, I’m genuinely concerned he may have suffered whiplash. The man who once treated consensus like a communicable disease is now hand-delivering it like a bouquet of peonies. Touching.
But let’s not be too hard on him—after all, it takes real talent to backpedal this hard without pulling a hamstring. And who among us hasn’t spent two years undermining policies only to claim ownership of them the second the political winds changed direction? Classic leadership move.
And Castro? Well, if Ariel is the political shapeshifter, she’s the drama department’s valedictorian—equal parts soap opera and TED Talk, sprinkled with just enough faux vulnerability to keep her #Brand alive. Bonus points for the child-as-prop routine; nothing says “courage” like weaponizing your own family for likes.
Anyway, bravo to Aesop for chronicling this high-calorie buffet of hypocrisy with the precision of a surgeon and the flair of a Shakespearean insult comic. I look forward to watching Ariel and Castro continue their tenure as the Gables' answer to Laurel and Hardy—if Laurel spent his time subtweeting constituents and Hardy posted teary Instagram monologues between ethics complaints.
I’m considering opening a popcorn stand right outside of city hall. The show that turkey tits is about to produce, direct, and star in is going to be epic. I can see it now. Just like the courtroom scene in Liar Liar, with a drizzle of Hialeah. Co-starring Melissa Castro and special appearances by Maria Cruz. Netflix needs to jump on this ASAP! This new top 10 series will be packed with action, drama, and comedy.
Keep up the good work!
Ariel Fernandez reminds me of Coca Cola in 1985. After a long time using the Coca Cola formula, they decided to abandon it. Then Coca Cola, using a new formula, introduced a new Coca Cola, and they called it New Coke. Then new Coke failed with consumers. Then Coca Cola introduced Coke Classic, with was the new new Coke, but in reality it was the old Coke.
Are you a bit confused with this Coca Cola story ? So am I regarding Ariel Fernandez in Coral Gables.
The anchors are Lago and Ariel. It’s a personal war between those two.
And what are you, the life jacket? Move on already. Go spread your desease in Palm Beach.