Aesop, thank you for the updates. your writings are REAL, factual. Please keep us informed.
Thank you Mayor, Vice Mayor and commissioners who brought back the BEST City Manager Coral Gables had, and now has again., Mr. Peter Iglesias. Transparency, order, PROFESSIONALISM and much more brought back. Congratulations, and welcome back, very highly missed.
As for Dr.Castro, the permitting issue is discriminatory, for the residents of Coral Gables.
One would have to pay the permitting fee, PLUS the fees to Coral Gables for the permits.
You would have to have staff just working for her permitting company. We the tax payers would be footing the fees, so Dr. Castro could live of the the cities residents, plus all her perks and raise obtained by the KFC gang.
***This would create a perverse incentive to slow down the regular permitting services.
Boredom Averted: Thank God the Clown Car Still Stops at City Hall
Well, well, well. Just when we all assumed the post-KFC era meant a new golden age of civility, seriousness, and deep, coma-inducing professionalism… along comes Dr. Castro to remind us that the FC in “City Commission” still stands for “Farcical Circus.”
Let’s be honest. When KFC and their unfiltered antics exited stage left, most of us resigned ourselves to a future filled with orderly agendas, business-casual tantrums, and perhaps the occasional sternly worded memo. You know, the kind of municipal drama that pairs well with chamomile tea and a warm bath. But Dr. Castro has heroically kept the flame of dysfunction flickering—bless her bedazzled heart.
Her performance at the May 20th meeting was less “elected official” and more “Real Housewife audition tape.” A covert iPhone photo op that made Watergate look like a group selfie. A middle-school-level betrayal dressed up as political maneuvering. A fake medical martyrdom that somehow involved both a facelift and a facepalm.
It’s not every day you see someone simultaneously try to claim victimhood, play informant, weaponize a selfie, and violate public records law—all while wearing a jacket that says, “I’m classy now.” Honestly, Castro may have missed her true calling in community theatre. Her late arrival, dramatic walk-on, and furtive phone flash were pure method acting.
And let’s take a moment to appreciate the attempted espionage. A sneaky snap of a public document, mid-meeting, followed by a rapid-fire transmission to South Florida’s queen of ethical erosion, Elaine De Valle. Imagine being so committed to the bit that you try to "leak" a document already visible to the public—on a livestream. Somewhere, Edward Snowden is weeping tears of envy.
Also: crying. Actual crying. Because a pilot program—yes, a pilot program—got paused. I hate to break it to Dr. Castro, but most people don't even cry that hard when their dog dies. Was the permit-expediting initiative a secret lifelong dream? Had she written love poems to it in her diary? Did she hand-knit its implementation plan from the threads of her own soul?
Or—and hear me out—was the overreaction less about civic progress and more about ego, exposure, and the awkward realization that political relevance is a perishable item?
And speaking of expired items, Elaine “I Still Matter, Dammit” De Valle took time out of her busy blackmail schedule to Zoom into the meeting for the very first time, which totally wasn’t coordinated or planned at all. Not one bit. Definitely just a random urge to comment, like a ghost returning to haunt the Gables one last time before floating back to Kendall.
In the end, let’s all take comfort in this: professionalism may be on the agenda, but stupidity still gets the floor. The City Beautiful remains delightfully weird, painfully petty, and somehow always just one Botoxed breakdown away from full-blown farce. And while we may miss the glory days of KFC chaos, Dr. Castro’s ongoing saga proves that the show is far from over. The names may change, but the nonsense remains eternal.
Let me just say it: this blog is straight 🔥🔥🔥. As always, cutting through the BS like a hot knife through butter. Every line had me nodding like yes, finally someone saying what we’re all thinking out loud.
Now—Castro and Ariel? Total clowns. Let’s stop pretending. They’ve never had our backs as residents. Not once. Castro running her little side hustle while holding public office? That’s not “gray area,” that’s a full-blown ethical disaster. And now she wants to act like she's some champion of “we the people”? LOL. That performance at the meeting? Save the tears, sweetheart—those weren’t for the public good, those were for your bottom line. You didn’t lose a policy—you lost a pipeline.
Ariel’s no better. Both of them have dragged down the prestige of Coral Gables like anchors tied to Gucci belts—trying to look classy while sinking the whole damn ship.
But here's the good news: we’re not stupid. The tide is turning. Thanks to leaders like Lago, Lara, and Anderson, we’re finally seeing adult leadership again. Real accountability. Real service. And trust me—I’m counting the days and doing everything in my power until Castro and Ariel are OUT. Done. Finished.
You don’t serve the people while you’re busy serving yourself. Period.
Aesop: this is one of your best ever posts. Thank you for telling us, the residents, how things really are at the Commission. Hopefully, with elections in November and full resident participation, we will be able to say good bye to opportunistics like Castro or Ariel.
The irony of Melissa Castro is that her interest in the Gables is on par with that of a tourist. She rents her apartment and by allowing her to enact legislation is the equivalent of something throwing out their trash while driving by someone's home. "That's their problem" is essentially how her actions should be perceived. That anything that she does or fails to do, is the homeowners of Coral Gables's problem because she can easily pack up her stuff and move across the street to the City of Miami.
To play devil's advocate, literally and figuratively, she does have a point in trying to 'expedite' the permitting process and creating a 'fast pass lane' wouldn't be such a bad idea IF a few details were to be altered. First, don't enact a pay-for-play scheme, instead, treat certain permits (small exterior remodeling) different from others such as exterior alterations, full home renovations, etc. As many whom have gone through the process know, sometimes and individual simply wants to change the color of their home while another is doing a full change to their backyard, requiring review and approval of many more departments. Second, when did we give up our rights as homeowners to do with our property as we please, all in the sake of safety and community guidelines. An idea to restore liberty would be to remove the requirement for certain permits that neither have a foundation in safety precautions nor community aesthetics. Why do I need a permit, if I'm going to put new tiles inside my home? Why do I need half of the permits that are required for interior aspects of the home?
Also, since I'm venting like a A/C in Miami, can we stop spending money on art installations around the City under the guise of 'beautification' and fix sidewalks, roads and the cement blocks that say the street name? Let's go back to practical government not spending to spend.
Aesop, thank you for the updates. your writings are REAL, factual. Please keep us informed.
Thank you Mayor, Vice Mayor and commissioners who brought back the BEST City Manager Coral Gables had, and now has again., Mr. Peter Iglesias. Transparency, order, PROFESSIONALISM and much more brought back. Congratulations, and welcome back, very highly missed.
As for Dr.Castro, the permitting issue is discriminatory, for the residents of Coral Gables.
One would have to pay the permitting fee, PLUS the fees to Coral Gables for the permits.
You would have to have staff just working for her permitting company. We the tax payers would be footing the fees, so Dr. Castro could live of the the cities residents, plus all her perks and raise obtained by the KFC gang.
***This would create a perverse incentive to slow down the regular permitting services.
Boredom Averted: Thank God the Clown Car Still Stops at City Hall
Well, well, well. Just when we all assumed the post-KFC era meant a new golden age of civility, seriousness, and deep, coma-inducing professionalism… along comes Dr. Castro to remind us that the FC in “City Commission” still stands for “Farcical Circus.”
Let’s be honest. When KFC and their unfiltered antics exited stage left, most of us resigned ourselves to a future filled with orderly agendas, business-casual tantrums, and perhaps the occasional sternly worded memo. You know, the kind of municipal drama that pairs well with chamomile tea and a warm bath. But Dr. Castro has heroically kept the flame of dysfunction flickering—bless her bedazzled heart.
Her performance at the May 20th meeting was less “elected official” and more “Real Housewife audition tape.” A covert iPhone photo op that made Watergate look like a group selfie. A middle-school-level betrayal dressed up as political maneuvering. A fake medical martyrdom that somehow involved both a facelift and a facepalm.
It’s not every day you see someone simultaneously try to claim victimhood, play informant, weaponize a selfie, and violate public records law—all while wearing a jacket that says, “I’m classy now.” Honestly, Castro may have missed her true calling in community theatre. Her late arrival, dramatic walk-on, and furtive phone flash were pure method acting.
And let’s take a moment to appreciate the attempted espionage. A sneaky snap of a public document, mid-meeting, followed by a rapid-fire transmission to South Florida’s queen of ethical erosion, Elaine De Valle. Imagine being so committed to the bit that you try to "leak" a document already visible to the public—on a livestream. Somewhere, Edward Snowden is weeping tears of envy.
Also: crying. Actual crying. Because a pilot program—yes, a pilot program—got paused. I hate to break it to Dr. Castro, but most people don't even cry that hard when their dog dies. Was the permit-expediting initiative a secret lifelong dream? Had she written love poems to it in her diary? Did she hand-knit its implementation plan from the threads of her own soul?
Or—and hear me out—was the overreaction less about civic progress and more about ego, exposure, and the awkward realization that political relevance is a perishable item?
And speaking of expired items, Elaine “I Still Matter, Dammit” De Valle took time out of her busy blackmail schedule to Zoom into the meeting for the very first time, which totally wasn’t coordinated or planned at all. Not one bit. Definitely just a random urge to comment, like a ghost returning to haunt the Gables one last time before floating back to Kendall.
In the end, let’s all take comfort in this: professionalism may be on the agenda, but stupidity still gets the floor. The City Beautiful remains delightfully weird, painfully petty, and somehow always just one Botoxed breakdown away from full-blown farce. And while we may miss the glory days of KFC chaos, Dr. Castro’s ongoing saga proves that the show is far from over. The names may change, but the nonsense remains eternal.
Sleep easy, folks. The stupid is still strong.
Butter that b!tch up. She’s toast!
Let me just say it: this blog is straight 🔥🔥🔥. As always, cutting through the BS like a hot knife through butter. Every line had me nodding like yes, finally someone saying what we’re all thinking out loud.
Now—Castro and Ariel? Total clowns. Let’s stop pretending. They’ve never had our backs as residents. Not once. Castro running her little side hustle while holding public office? That’s not “gray area,” that’s a full-blown ethical disaster. And now she wants to act like she's some champion of “we the people”? LOL. That performance at the meeting? Save the tears, sweetheart—those weren’t for the public good, those were for your bottom line. You didn’t lose a policy—you lost a pipeline.
Ariel’s no better. Both of them have dragged down the prestige of Coral Gables like anchors tied to Gucci belts—trying to look classy while sinking the whole damn ship.
But here's the good news: we’re not stupid. The tide is turning. Thanks to leaders like Lago, Lara, and Anderson, we’re finally seeing adult leadership again. Real accountability. Real service. And trust me—I’m counting the days and doing everything in my power until Castro and Ariel are OUT. Done. Finished.
You don’t serve the people while you’re busy serving yourself. Period.
Aesop: this is one of your best ever posts. Thank you for telling us, the residents, how things really are at the Commission. Hopefully, with elections in November and full resident participation, we will be able to say good bye to opportunistics like Castro or Ariel.
The irony of Melissa Castro is that her interest in the Gables is on par with that of a tourist. She rents her apartment and by allowing her to enact legislation is the equivalent of something throwing out their trash while driving by someone's home. "That's their problem" is essentially how her actions should be perceived. That anything that she does or fails to do, is the homeowners of Coral Gables's problem because she can easily pack up her stuff and move across the street to the City of Miami.
To play devil's advocate, literally and figuratively, she does have a point in trying to 'expedite' the permitting process and creating a 'fast pass lane' wouldn't be such a bad idea IF a few details were to be altered. First, don't enact a pay-for-play scheme, instead, treat certain permits (small exterior remodeling) different from others such as exterior alterations, full home renovations, etc. As many whom have gone through the process know, sometimes and individual simply wants to change the color of their home while another is doing a full change to their backyard, requiring review and approval of many more departments. Second, when did we give up our rights as homeowners to do with our property as we please, all in the sake of safety and community guidelines. An idea to restore liberty would be to remove the requirement for certain permits that neither have a foundation in safety precautions nor community aesthetics. Why do I need a permit, if I'm going to put new tiles inside my home? Why do I need half of the permits that are required for interior aspects of the home?
Also, since I'm venting like a A/C in Miami, can we stop spending money on art installations around the City under the guise of 'beautification' and fix sidewalks, roads and the cement blocks that say the street name? Let's go back to practical government not spending to spend.
That is all, folks!