Another dramatic episode of As the Gables Turn, starring our very own Ariel Fernández—forever auditioning for the role of “politician most likely to end up with a Dateline episode,” yet somehow never quite making the cut.
Meanwhile, out in the real world, actual politicians are already wearing matching jumpsuits: Bob Menendez is serving hard time for treating the Senate like a pawn shop, Brian Kelsey went down for campaign finance gymnastics, Michael Madigan finally traded Springfield for a federal bunk bed, and Larry Householder’s pulling a twenty-year stint after running Ohio politics like his personal utility company.
Compared to that lineup, Ariel’s antics feel less “criminal mastermind” and more “soap-opera subplot.” Phishing schemes, conveniently forgotten radio cameos, and homemade affidavits passed around like high-school notes—he’s not exactly in Menendez or Householder territory. He’s more like the guy on the sidelines insisting he could have been a contender if only the refs hadn’t been biased.
Still, it does make you wonder: if bribery, racketeering, and full-blown corruption land people in prison, what’s the penalty for bad acting, political cosplay, and an endless supply of “I don’t recall”? Probably not jail—but at minimum, it ought to come with a commercial break and a laugh track.
Two of the most influential novels, Crime & Punishment and The Count of Monte Cristo, are by no means considered “short”. The point being is good writing and in depth analysis must be held to the same standard as literature. Why? Because details matter, especially when it comes to elected officials and their actions. Elected officials who we have the responsibility to hold to high standards. Higher standards than those which Commissioner Fernandez embody.
To critique this post based on length is a disservice to the value and insight it provides. I was able to put down my copy of Animal Farm to give this post 30 minutes, and I thoroughly enjoyed every sentence. Trust me, it’s better than Love Island.
Another dramatic episode of As the Gables Turn, starring our very own Ariel Fernández—forever auditioning for the role of “politician most likely to end up with a Dateline episode,” yet somehow never quite making the cut.
Meanwhile, out in the real world, actual politicians are already wearing matching jumpsuits: Bob Menendez is serving hard time for treating the Senate like a pawn shop, Brian Kelsey went down for campaign finance gymnastics, Michael Madigan finally traded Springfield for a federal bunk bed, and Larry Householder’s pulling a twenty-year stint after running Ohio politics like his personal utility company.
Compared to that lineup, Ariel’s antics feel less “criminal mastermind” and more “soap-opera subplot.” Phishing schemes, conveniently forgotten radio cameos, and homemade affidavits passed around like high-school notes—he’s not exactly in Menendez or Householder territory. He’s more like the guy on the sidelines insisting he could have been a contender if only the refs hadn’t been biased.
Still, it does make you wonder: if bribery, racketeering, and full-blown corruption land people in prison, what’s the penalty for bad acting, political cosplay, and an endless supply of “I don’t recall”? Probably not jail—but at minimum, it ought to come with a commercial break and a laugh track.
Dude... I'm a fan of Vince Lago, but even I didn't have the stamina to keep reading after like the 2nd paragraph. Shortness is next to godliness.
Two of the most influential novels, Crime & Punishment and The Count of Monte Cristo, are by no means considered “short”. The point being is good writing and in depth analysis must be held to the same standard as literature. Why? Because details matter, especially when it comes to elected officials and their actions. Elected officials who we have the responsibility to hold to high standards. Higher standards than those which Commissioner Fernandez embody.
To critique this post based on length is a disservice to the value and insight it provides. I was able to put down my copy of Animal Farm to give this post 30 minutes, and I thoroughly enjoyed every sentence. Trust me, it’s better than Love Island.
Bring back the bullet points! Get crazy and put links in the bullet points so we can jump to the section we find most interesting.