"Would You Like a Recess So You Can Take a Pill?"

There were two city commission meetings last week—a regular meeting on Tuesday and a three-hour budget workshop on Wednesday. I will do my best over the coming weeks to dissect the noteworthy elements of each. However, my analysis will likely favor the budget workshop, for, as you’ve likely heard, it was bad. Very bad. Like the Hindenburg bad.

I’ll try, as always, to explore these elements with an appropriate measure of levity. But before I do, I’m compelled to examine something that I find rather unfunny, and so I apologize in advance if my tone henceforth is a bit more dour than usual.

It involves a remark I first heard Ariel mumble during Tuesday’s commission meeting, something I did not think much of at the time. Listen closely to the clip below, multiple times if you have to, and key in on the 30-second mark. You’ll hear Ariel say: “Well, other people take pills for that and I don’t.”

I remember hearing this and thinking, ‘That’s an odd thing to say. Then again, Ariel is a dimwit, and dimwits are prone to bad jokes, especially when they’re angry and humiliated. Oh well.’

But then something happened during the budget meeting the very next day. I heard the same stupid and seemingly apropos-of-nothing insult, but only this time uttered with much more force and nastiness.

“Everything is funny to you. You seem to be touching your eyes all the time. Would you like a recess so you can take a pill?”

‘That’s two days in a row that we got a “pill” remark,’ I thought. On the record and during an official proceeding, no less. This couldn’t be arbitrary. This had to mean something. But what?

The “narrative”

Needless to say, this didn’t sit well with me, so I reached out to a few trusted and well-informed contacts, my very own Masters of Whispers at city hall.

According to these contacts, Ariel is rather fond of telling people that Lago is taking prescription medications for some kind of psychiatric condition; a condition that he strongly implies has something to do with anger issues or clinical depression. This is no inside joke, but rather a serious and concerted effort to publicly portray Lago as “mentally unstable.” They say Ariel couches this as something of which he has direct and personal knowledge.

Of course, this is only hearsay, and while I trust my sources implicitly, I can’t expect you to do the same. Nor can I demand that you trust me. I can only hope that you’ll trust your own intuition and plain common sense.

Thus, you can believe one of two things. That Ariel flinging two “take your pills” insults at Lago within 24 hours was an essentially random phenomenon; that ‘go take your pills’ was nothing more to Ariel than a totally-sick-but-ultimately-generic burn that was so nice it needed to be said twice; and that either my sources are lying to me and/or I’m lying to you.

Or, that remarks like “Other people take pills for that and I don’t” and “Would you like to take a recess so you can take a pill!” are too specific and germane to be random; that these insults are but one facet of a cynical political strategy.

Of course, if you’re still undecided, you might want to consider these recent events:

• The Lago’s-so-violent-he-assaulted-the-city-manager-with-his-voice scandal that was instigated by city manager/former federal marshal who, despite having what Ariel claims is “top-secret” security clearance, somehow allowed word that he filed a police report against Lago to be leaked to a few D-list bloggers within minutes of submission. Oops!

• Elaine De Valle of Political Cortadito suddenly gossiping (the important stuff is always from “Las Malas Lenguas” and thus can never be substantiated, wouldn’t you know) about supposed Lago meltdowns, like when she wrote this last month:

  “But maybe it’s not about Rojas, at all. This is only the latest in a chain of public meltdowns that Lago has been having for months now. Las malas lenguas say he went off on a group of residents recently. If anyone was there, please drop Ladra a note.

  People better be careful if he gets his buttons pressed at the Loews tonight. Or at least get their cellphones out and ready to record. Please. Thank you.

• Perennial afterthought Javier Baños noting how Lago “now appears physically haggard and a shadow of his former self” in his latest characterization of what he too candidly calls the “narrative” via his floundering consolation prize, Gables Insider.

• Elaine De Valle, once again, peddling a nasty rumor by pretending she’s investigating a story. One that will never materialize because it’s fake. This time about Lago supposedly getting kicked out of Hillstone for having a fit:

  

Renal Artery Stenosis (ARS) and Renal Autotransplantation

The more I thought about all this, the more annoyed I became. “A chain of public meltdowns,” “physically haggard,” “a shadow of his former self” “you keep touching your eyes.” It’s almost as if they’re referring to someone with substance abuse or mental health problems.

Which is why I’m going to spill the beans. And, yes, I have permission to share what I’m about to tell you.

Lago does indeed take "a litany of pills." He takes vitamins, health supplements, and, yes, prescription medications—medications that have to be taken multiple times a day and on a strict schedule. This means he sometimes has to take them in public, including in front of Ariel. Go figure.

But here’s the catch. Per Lago's camp, these prescription medications have nothing to do with depression, anger, or any psychiatric condition. They are medications that help Lago manage a serious health issue.

Years ago, Lago suffered a life-threatening condition called Renal Artery Stenosis (ARS). Consequently, he had to be flown to Cleveland Clinic to undergo a 10-hour life-saving procedure known as renal autotransplantation. This procedure involved removing Lago’s kidney, repairing it, and then transplanting it back into his body. While autotransplantation helps avoid rejection-related complications, it can give rise to many other lifelong issues commonly associated with an organ transplant, as well as those related to any congenital or underlying condition that may have led to the ARS.

Lago will have to live with this condition—and the 14-inch scar it gave him—for the rest of his life. He will need to remain on medications that men his age rarely require, constantly monitor his blood pressure, and maintain a careful diet and fitness routine. Speaking of diet and fitness, I can personally attest to the fact that he is often mocked and ridiculed for being obsessed with fitness, for being a “food Nazi” and “gym rat.” It always comes from the people you’d expect, looking just as you’d imagine. In any event, I suppose this puts Lago’s fitness “obsession” in a different light.

Beneath the dignity of the office

I generally don’t mind when elected officials throw elbows. Politics, as they say, is a contact sport. As is political commentary. Lord knows, I’ve directed my fair share of mockery at KFC. But for every barb I’ve flung, there are two I’ve withheld. There are lines one simply shouldn’t cross.

Anyone whose life has been touched by mental health struggles knows it's not a subject for mockery or political exploitation. Making light of anyone’s need for psychiatric medication, whether for anger management or depression or any other mental health issue, is despicable. For a commissioner to do it to a colleague and from the dais is nothing short of reprehensible.

If Ariel genuinely believed Lago was taking psychiatric medication, his public ridicule is a disgraceful abuse of his position and a betrayal of those who struggle with mental health issues. His actions are even more contemptible if, as I suspect, he knew Lago’s medication was for a physical rather than psychological condition and therefore deliberately twisted it into a narrative of mental instability. This would constitute not just a lie, but a deliberate stigmatization of both mental health issues and genuine medical conditions.

Moreover, let’s not forget that Ariel and the rest of KFC censured Lago for what were comparatively benign comments made off the dais and on the radio. Will Ariel face similar consequences for his debasing and disgraceful behavior conducted during official proceedings? Don’t hold your breath.

Ariel's conduct is beneath the dignity of his office. It sullies the reputation of our city and mocks the very citizens he swore to serve. It demonstrates a profound lack of judgment, empathy, and basic human decency. This behavior, much like the person responsible for it, has no place in public service.