“ the MacGyver of multimedia who could…. still find a way to broadcast live on at least four different platforms with nothing but a rusty anchor and a decayed whale carcass” was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Bravo.
Another reminder that when you invite political syphilis into your house, you don't just disinfect once and call it a day. The lesions linger, like unpaid interns after a catered meeting.
Aesop nails it again. The piece is a masterclass in dismembering dysfunction with a scalpel dipped in satire. It's oddly comforting (in the same way a bear hug from a tax auditor might be comforting) to see that Coral Gables has developed its very own ecosystem of petty tyrants, ideological cultists, and techno-illiterate escape artists. If Ariel gets any more “suspiciously absent,” he’s going to require a milk carton and an amber alert.
But hey, this whole debacle makes me feel almost patriotic. After all, the good ol’ U.S. of A. is currently busy running the same playbook on a national scale: deny, deflect, declare victimhood, and then quietly slink away while mumbling something about a “politically motivated investigation.” It's comforting to know that from Coral Gables to Capitol Hill, public officials can still unite under one bipartisan truth: accountability is for other people.
And let’s not overlook Felix and Sue, the dynamic duo who’ve clearly mistaken “public service” for an audition tape to play Emperor Palpatine’s slightly more unhinged cousins. Their zoning decisions make Florida’s weather look consistent. And watching them wrestle with legal structures and basic civics is like watching toddlers try to do algebra with finger paint and vengeance.
Still, as Aesop rightly points out, we did dodge a bullet. Unfortunately, it ricocheted, bounced off Sue’s confused stare, grazed Felix’s ego, and is now spinning somewhere above the City Beautiful, still looking for a soft target. Sleep tight, Coral Gables.
Aesop....thank you for keeping us informed with the TRUTH, exposing those doing damage to the City. God bless you.
“ the MacGyver of multimedia who could…. still find a way to broadcast live on at least four different platforms with nothing but a rusty anchor and a decayed whale carcass” was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Bravo.
Another reminder that when you invite political syphilis into your house, you don't just disinfect once and call it a day. The lesions linger, like unpaid interns after a catered meeting.
Aesop nails it again. The piece is a masterclass in dismembering dysfunction with a scalpel dipped in satire. It's oddly comforting (in the same way a bear hug from a tax auditor might be comforting) to see that Coral Gables has developed its very own ecosystem of petty tyrants, ideological cultists, and techno-illiterate escape artists. If Ariel gets any more “suspiciously absent,” he’s going to require a milk carton and an amber alert.
But hey, this whole debacle makes me feel almost patriotic. After all, the good ol’ U.S. of A. is currently busy running the same playbook on a national scale: deny, deflect, declare victimhood, and then quietly slink away while mumbling something about a “politically motivated investigation.” It's comforting to know that from Coral Gables to Capitol Hill, public officials can still unite under one bipartisan truth: accountability is for other people.
And let’s not overlook Felix and Sue, the dynamic duo who’ve clearly mistaken “public service” for an audition tape to play Emperor Palpatine’s slightly more unhinged cousins. Their zoning decisions make Florida’s weather look consistent. And watching them wrestle with legal structures and basic civics is like watching toddlers try to do algebra with finger paint and vengeance.
Still, as Aesop rightly points out, we did dodge a bullet. Unfortunately, it ricocheted, bounced off Sue’s confused stare, grazed Felix’s ego, and is now spinning somewhere above the City Beautiful, still looking for a soft target. Sleep tight, Coral Gables.