Let’s begin where we left off in part one, shall we?
Below is a screenshot of a campaign treasurer's report from the second quarter of 2023, filed by the political action committee (PAC) "Gables Neighbors United." These reports are legally mandated filings that must detail all financial transactions flowing in and out of political organizations. As highlighted in the image, this particular report documents a $1,000 payment from Gables Neighbors United to Elaine De Valle of Political Cortadito on August 23, 2023.
In case you can't quite place where you've heard the name “Gables Neighbors United,” this should jog your memory:
WELCOME TO THE TRUTH indeed! So Gables Neighbors United belongs to the CGNA, which is fascinating in itself. Why would a supposedly quaint little “neighbors association” need its own PAC? Aren't PACs bad? Don't they muddy the waters and distort democracy? Didn't we just hear Kirk preach to us about how PACs are used to do the devil’s work? More importantly, why would a PAC that hardly spends a dime need $15,000 from a single donor?
And why would the PAC’s parent organization, the CGNA, need to file five annual reports over the course of a single year?
Is this thing a neighbors association or a tech company gearing up for an IPO? Seriously, that’s an awful lot of organizational musical chairs—and in 2023, right after Ariel and Dr. Castro were elected to the commission no less. It’s almost as if someone was trying to remove key KFC board appointees from the CGNA masthead. But hey, at least they kept ethically pristine Javier Baños on as treasurer, which is always a big boost for legitimacy. In fact, they go a step further and make his Coconut Grove office the association’s principal address. Might as well rename the thing the “JBNA.”
But back to the central question: why would a not-as-homespun-as-it-seems neighbors association use a PAC to pay $1,000 to an 'independent journalist' for what the memo line describes as “promotion”? Why would the CGNA, a narrowly focused not-for-profit neighbors association, one whose reputation supposedly precedes it, want to run pop-up ads? Do they have a side hustle we don’t know about? Are they selling weight-loss pills and timeshares when they’re not trashing elected officials?
What a cynical person might say, which also happens to be what a growing number of former and current politicians will say, is that this “promotional” fee is how Elaine likes to launder her pay-for-play payments.
In other words, according to las malas lenguas, the transaction works like this: Public Figure X pays Elaine for useless banner ad Y that hardly anybody sees, and in return, her blog's coverage of Public Figure X magically transforms from hostile to either overtly favorable or, at minimum, significantly less negative.
Note that most of the time, these payments are mostly prophylactic. Like a ransom payment or an extortion fee. Like how a butcher in the Bronx would hand a stack of bills in a brown paper bag to the local mob’s capo and suddenly bricks would stop flying through his storefront windows.
But again, it takes a cynical mind to imagine that kind of racket operating here in South Florida of all places. Besides, if that's how Elaine operated, surely one would be able to produce at least one example of Political Cortadito's editorial viewpoint swinging 180 degrees for no apparent reason. You might even find the exact same story written in two radically different ways:
What a difference a day—and a thousand bucks a month—makes, huh? Turns out whether raising six figures from the same donor pool signals talent or corruption depends entirely on a candidate's willingness to pay for “promotions” on Elaine De Valle's crappy website.
By the way, let’s not forget how Ariel, who Lago says once served as a middleman for payments to Elaine, admitted on the record to running his own pay-for-play enterprise with Gables Insider. Notice how this explains the rather mercurial nature of Ariel's politics over the years: Lago transforming from an anti-development hero to a supposed sell-out, tax cuts shifting from long-overdue to suddenly unacceptable, the annexation of Little Gables morphing from a brilliant idea to a questionable proposition…all seemingly contingent on who was writing the checks.
Just imagine what Ariel would be willing to do if you promised to double his salary?
Of course, none of this definitively proves the CGNA’s $1,000 payment wasn't completely above board. Just because Elaine allegedly runs this pay-for-play scheme with countless individuals and organizations doesn't necessarily mean the oh-so-noble CGNA agreed to play ball. After all, it's not as if there was a glaring shift in Political Cortadito's coverage of the CGNA’s archnemesis, Lago, that just so happened to coincide with that payment:
Oh my, I stand corrected. Looks to me like in the ten weeks before receiving payment, Political Cortadito published exactly one Coral Gables-related article—a benign tribute to Jeannett Slesnick. Then, magically, in the very week of the CGNA's “promotional” payment, it unleashed 11 overtly anti-Lago posts in just 25 days. In essence, Elaine went from publishing one Gables-oriented piece every 70 days to churning out an overtly anti-Lago hit piece every other day.
And notice how this payment, the fusillade of Political Cortadito attack articles, and the start of that “PeopleCountUSA” phishing email campaign all got rolling during the week of August 20, 2023? Purely a coincidence, I'm sure:
Speaking of coincidences, how about the conveniently timed yet incredibly bizarre public records request that served as the foundation for Elaine's story? Think about it, how could the author of that request understand City Hall politics well enough to produce such an exhaustive, inside-baseball laundry list on one hand, yet not know how to craft a request with any chance of being fulfilled on the other? Why submit a records request that reads more like the outline of a story than a document designed to produce actual information—unless, of course, you're not really seeking records but instead creating narrative anchor points for an upcoming blog post? And why not wait for any of these records to materialize before publishing such salacious allegations, unless your objective was simply to drop unfalsifiable claims on a political opponent mere days before an election?
Here is the original public records request submitted by a so-called “Mike Fernandez” (there is an even more frenetic followup which I wont share for the sake of space):
1. Communications - All emails, text messages, phone call logs, and any other digital or written communications exchanged between Mayor Lago and Chelsea Granell, whether through official government channels or personal devices used for government business. - Any communications between Chelsea Granell and Olga Lago, the mayor’s wife, including but not limited to text messages, emails, call logs, or any reports referencing confrontations between them. 2. Meetings, Visits, and Logs -Any official or unofficial records, security logs, visitor logs, or documentation indicating Chelsea Granell’s presence at Mayor Lago’s home. -Any city records or internal communications discussing or acknowledging Chelsea Granell visiting Mayor Lago’s home for personal reasons, including interactions with his wife. -Any surveillance footage, security reports, or other documentation related to Chelsea Granell’s presence at locations associated with Mayor Lago outside of normal work-related duties. 3. Personal and Workplace Relations -Any reports, complaints, or internal HR documentation related to a personal or sexual relationship between Mayor Lago and Chelsea Granell. -Any official or unofficial records, emails, or communications referencing Chelsea Granell’s divorce and whether her relationship with Mayor Lago was cited as a contributing factor. -Any documentation, reports, or references to Chelsea Granell seeking therapy related to her relationship with Mayor Lago. 4. Interactions Involving Olga Lago -Any documentation, emails, or messages between Olga Lago and city officials, staff, or third parties discussing Chelsea Granell’s relationship with Mayor Lago. -Any official complaints, reports, or internal discussions regarding confrontations or disputes between Olga Lago and Chelsea Granell. 5. Media and Documentation -Any video recordings, photographs, phone records, or other documentation reflecting interactions between Mayor Lago and Chelsea Granell that may be in the city’s possession. -Any records of official discussions within city government regarding public concerns, media inquiries, or internal issues related to their relationship. Please provide these records in electronic format if available. If there are any applicable fees or processing requirements, kindly inform me in advance. If any portion of this request is exempt from disclosure, please cite the specific exemption and provide the non-exempt records. I appreciate your time and assistance and look forward to your prompt response. Coral Gables United
Nice list, you psycho. So who might this "Mike Fernandez" really be? Well, reviewing public records requests comes with the territory in what I do here, so I've examined more than my fair share. And I have to say, there's something eerily familiar about this individual’s technique. Indeed, it's almost like I've seen this distinctive semi-deranged word-vomit approach to public records requests before:
1) Why have the last 3 meetings been blocked from live stream online?Why are residents being prevented from watching? 2) How much money has been paid, in total, to Stan Adkins and/or his firm or staff by the City? 3) Was an RFP done in hiring for that position? If so, where and how was it advertised? 4)What other companies responded to the RFP? If one was done? 5) Can an acting Commissioner use a PR firm hired for advertising to write statements? 6) How much of Mr. Adkins and the firm's time to provide non-advertising services to the City? 7)How much of Mr. Adkins and the firm's time to provide non-advertising services to the Commissioner Keon? 8)How much staff time is spent daily on monitoring resident social media posts about the CityManager, her immediate staff or CommissionerKeon? How much money did it add up to? 9) Who authorized the monitoring of residents social media accounts?10) Why were resident social media posts, including mine, forwarded to Stan Adkins who was doing advertising? I am not aware of the City using any of my social media material for advertising purposes? Are we being spied on? 11) What is the penalty for a sittingCommissioner's illegal use of taxpayer dollars for personal benefit? 12)What actions can the City and/or its residents take to ensure CommissionerKeon is held accountable for her use of a political consultant's services for personal benefit on taxpayer dollars? I would appreciate a prompt response, as my last and simple public record requests went unanswered. By the way, as Craig Leen opined while City Attorney, this email is for Public use only. If it is sent to Mr.Adkins, it would violate my privacy unless he does a public record request for it. Thanks! Ariel Fernandez 831Monterey Street CoralGables, FL 33134
Gee whiz, it’s like these guys are long-lost twins. Like they enjoy some kind of shared psychotic consciousness. It’s almost as if they’re the same person!
Then again, it’s probably just a fluke, because everything about this is either perfectly normal or random coincidence. Let’s review:
A grassroots neighbors association restructuring nearly half a dozen times in one year, just as the KFC era commences? — Totally normal.
That grassroots neighbors association having Javier Baños serve as its treasurer (the same Javier Baños who happens to be Joe Carollo's treasurer, relative, and co-defendant) while he was also running Gables Insider? — Completely kosher.
That grassroots neighbors association with the operating expenses of an 8-year-old’s lemonade stand opening its own PAC? — Happens all the time.
That PAC receiving $15,000 from a single donor despite hardly spending money? — Extremely common.
That PAC paying a so-called independent journalist $1,000 for "promotion”? —Whose PAC doesn't do that?
That so-called independent journalist escalating from zero to a hundred on anti-Lago hit pieces the very same week she receives that $1,000 payment? — Pure coincidence.
That $1,000 payment and barrage of hit pieces starting at the precise moment someone begins e-blasting phishing emails disguised as anti-Lago push-polls? — Sheer happenstance.
An impossible-to-fulfill (and eventually cancelled) stream-of-consciousness public records request that reads like fodder for a salacious hit-piece by that so-called journalist landing mere weeks before an election? — Simply serendipitous.
That impossible-to-fulfill public records request bearing an uncanny resemblance to one of Ariel's impossible-to-fulfill stream-of-consciousness public records requests? — Merely a fluke.
Seems to me like what we have here is a classic symbiotic relationship between two equally loathsome parties: a bitter, deceitful band of political activists posing as a grassroots “neighbors association” while hypocritically running a PAC and shuffling organizational paperwork as part of some shell game, and a pay-for-play blogger who, even if she weren't selling her platform to the highest bidder, would remain utterly unreliable given that she's an unscrupulous zealot who fundamentally lacks the intellectual capacity to coherently analyze local politics.
It's a racket, people. It's always been a racket. The only difference now is that the paper trail has become sloppy enough for all to see.
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