Summer Shorts: A Quick Bulletin and a Happy Announcement

Good news! This is a short and slightly spontaneous announcement post, and, as such, should take less than five minutes of your time. I know, I know. “Who are you and what have you done with Aesop?” Feel free to alert Unsolved Mysteries.

Actually, I do have one city-related bulletin to share; one that I suspect you will find…unsurprising.

As you will see below, your new city manager, the one who came out of retirement less than five months ago, decided to take a little time off recently:

Nothing says thoughtful planning like having to use the Critical Path Method to identify who’ll actually be running the city while you’re on vacation.

Seriously though, given the circumstances, you’d think Aimless Amos would want to show a little more gumption. I’ve worked with my fair share of C-suite executives, and I honestly can’t think of one who would even flirt with the idea of taking a vacation less than a year—let alone five months—into the job. Especially one who was a controversial hire. Especially one who had already earned a reputation amongst his subordinates for being lazy and disinterested.

You would think that a brand new city manager, one who doesn’t have any meaningful ties to the city that hired him, would maybe want to remain in town (at least in his freshman year) for his city’s signature party, The Biltmore Fourth of July Fireworks Celebration. You know, the one night that sees over 30,000 people flock to the Gables at once. The single event for which scores of city employees have to work overtime. The one that takes virtually every police and fire employee away from their families on a top-tier holiday. You’d think he’d have the decency and good judgment to stick around for that and maybe lead by example.

And speaking of leading by example, you would think he would have maybe perused the city’s hiring policies (I know, with him you wouldn’t actually think that) before taking any time off. Remember, we’re always being told that employee morale is at an all-time low lately. Therefore, one wonders how such an egregious example of rules for thee but not for me affects that morale:

I know this isn’t exactly earth-shaking news. I’m just saying that our manager has a serious confidence problem, one to which he may be somewhat oblivious. It’s hard to read a room when you’re hardly ever in it.

To be sure, more and more employees are starting to dish on the city manager. It’s a story in and of itself. There is a lot of leaking and venting taking place. A lot of chatter that seems to be fueled by a growing sense of dismay and resentment. Imagine running a city department where a teenager applying for a summer job at the Venetian Pool must jump through more hoops than your own boss did. Hoops like having to sit for an interview or turn in a resume. Hoops like meeting a set of minimum qualifications.

Exit question: what do you say to someone when they point out that your city’s life guards are more qualified to be city manager than your actual city manager?

• Must be at least 19 years of age.

• High school diploma or equivalent.

• Two (2) year licensure of Jeff Ellis and Associates (ILTP) International Lifeguard Training Program certified for special facilities with open water.

• One (1) year licensure of Jeff Ellis and Associates (ILTP) Instructors License.

• Current CPR/First Aid/AED certification.

• AFO or CPO licensure preferred or to be obtained within first six months of employment.

• Emergency Medical Technician licensure preferred.

• Paramedic licensure preferred.

• Five (5) years of experience working as a lifeguard/instructor in an aquatics facility.

• Valid Florida Driver’s License.

Politics in Paradise

Now that that’s out of the way, I’m pleased to move on to happier news. As some of you have heard, a frequent and familiar guest-writer of mine has been working on launching his own podcast, and after at least two months of planning and preparation, that project is about to debut—right here in this space.

Politics in Paradise, as it’s called, will most likely premiere this week. Perhaps even tomorrow. We’ll see. In any event, I’ll forgo any description except to say that if you’re looking for insightful and substantive political discourse, this will be the show for you.

Also, it’s important to note that while I have imposed as the publisher certain standards regarding tone and quality (intelligent, honest, and bipartisan), Politics in Paradise is most definitely not my project. The show is entirely the product of its exceptionally smart and industrious host.

Finally, I must say that I could not have asked for a better inaugural guest. Both highly intelligent and remarkably conscientious, he helped establish the thoughtful tone I was hoping for. If only I could clone this guest a few thousand times and release the entire horde into the Gables.

With that said, stay tuned and I hope you enjoy.