Do any of you know how to set up keyboard shortcuts on a computer? I ask because I’d like to be able to hit a single key and have it type out “Iyay oldtay ouyay osay.” At the rate things are going, I’m going to need it if I’m to avoid wearing out my keyboard.
Remember how I kept warning you about the rather unsavory connections between Gables Insider—specifically its “owner” and “editor” Javier Baños—and certain, shall we say, ethically flexible political operators? Well, this morning's Miami Herald brings us yet another data point in support of that thesis.
In an exceptionally juicy story—one I have a feeling you won’t read about on Gables Insider—Herald reporter Tess Riski dishes on a brand new lawsuit filed by former City of Miami employees against Joe Carollo:
Two former employees of a downtown Miami city agency have accused the agency’s chairman, Miami City Commissioner Joe Carollo, of attempting to use public funds to cover a yacht party for his family and friends, paying a TV station owned by “close personal friends” to broadcast an event, and supporting the purchase of a “suspicious” mobile veterinary truck that was later searched by police when an employee discovered “controlled substances and prescription drugs” intended for animals at the agency office.
I’m starting to see where Carl Hiassen gets his material. But that’s not the kicker. This is the kicker (emphasis mine):
In addition to Carollo and the Bayfront Park Management Trust, the lawsuit also names Javier Baños, a Trust board member and Carollo’s personal accountant, as a defendant. According to the lawsuit, Baños is married to Carollo’s cousin.
Color. Me. Shocked.
Yes, yes, I know, I know….they’re only allegations. We’ll have to wait and see whether they actually stick, whether there’s really a there there, whether a guy who’s spent the last few years aiding and abetting elected officials with a penchant for grift and corruption in his own city is truly guilty of—checks notes—aiding and abetting elected officials with a penchant for grift and corruption in a neighboring city.
In the meantime, however, can we all at least agree that it’s probably not a good idea to rely on Gables Insider for local news? Can we finally acknowledge that when a guy who admits on the record that his blog was always a pay-for-play propaganda machine hands over said blog (the way a disbarred attorney hands over his practice to his wife) to a longtime political operative with both familial and professional ties to the most infamously corrupt politician in the region…that this perhaps is a good reason to stop taking that blog seriously?
Then again, judging by the massive drop in its popularity, I suppose most of you already have. But to the rest of you, the dwindling few who (presumably for therapeutic reasons) still drink from that stagnant well of soulless disinformation: might it be time to consider a detox?
And it's not about being partisan or one-sided. I mean, who are we kidding, I'm a heartbeat away from having Lago❤️Anderson tattooed on my lower back. Take it from me, there's nothing wrong with having a perspective. There's no crime in picking a side.
The crime is in the pretense. In the contempt you show your readers when you try to pass off overt propaganda as objective news. In the insult to your audience's intelligence when you slap a title like "Claudia Miro Joins Coral Gables Commission Race for Group III Seat" on a post that’s little more than a campaign ad for Miro’s opponent and Ariel’s handpicked candidate, Tom Wells.
In the endless stream of utterly stupid passages like this:
Lara’s campaign initially gained momentum with strong fundraising and a message of reform. However, recent months have seen a decline in visibility, raising questions about his ability to maintain traction heading into the election season.
Who exactly has raised these questions, Javier? Who are your sources on this, besides your cat?
Anyway, consider this reason 1,467 as to why Gables Insider ranks right up there with those tabloids they used to sell in the Winn-Dixie checkout lane circa 1992, the ones that featured stories about the "Bat Boy" or Princess Diana's Secret Sasquatch Lover. Though at least those tabloids had the decency to openly embrace their absurdity—they weren't trying to pass themselves off as the Wall Street Journal. Then again, I suppose when your "publisher" is busy moonlighting as Joe Carollo's personal accountant and getting named in federal lawsuits, maintaining journalistic integrity might not be at the top of your to-do list. And speaking of journalism, isn't it interesting how certain commission candidates aren't bothering to raise money for actual campaign communications? Why would they, when they can count on Gables Insider to function as their personal Pravda?
As for the Herald, although I remain vexed by their conspicuous lack of interest in certain stories involving certain people, I have to admit Riski's piece this morning was well done. Which is one reason why I won’t pull an end-around on the Herald’s annoying paywall by pasting the whole article below. They've earned whatever clicks they can get for this one.
Read the whole thing here:
I admit: I'm a sucker for schadenfreude (hence my on-again, off-again flirtation with Fox News.)
So it is that wild horses couldn't drag me away from Coral Gables Insider or Politico Cortadito.
I wonder if Kirk Menendez will cite the Baños-Carollo connection as yet another example of the "corruption" he thinks to be paralyzing the City Beautiful. (If he were true to KFC style, he'd call it the Baños-Carollo-Fernandez connection.)
Just in case the letter I posted to the Insider this morning doesn't see print there (Mr. Baños might be distracted right now,) here is my pending submission:
"However, recent months have seen a decline in visibility..."
You could have fooled me. Certainly, to judge by the new yard signs on my property that's not the case, but apparently you have some objective measure about Lara's visibility versus, I dunno, Wells'.
As to Wells' advocating for Fritz and Franz, for the life of me I cannot understand the interest in and enthusiasm for the City of Coral Gables in essence to subsidize a private business. If old-time, cherished establishments like Cafe Abbracci or Books and Books came to the commission looking for hand-outs I don't think any amount of advocating would produce city funding for them. Why the need for taxpayers to support this particular joint?
This explains why Mr. Bathroom (his words, not mine) is not running for any of the spots. He obviously has something to hide and an election campaign may uncover it...